Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
