On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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