i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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