Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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