just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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