dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Say something about gay babies.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
