let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
