TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
