I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize