he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
