Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
