Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
