You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
