I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
