I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
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I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
