I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
