There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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