Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
