Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
