So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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