It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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