They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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