as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
