i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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