He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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