I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
