hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
