what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
