Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
