I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
