What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
