i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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