But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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