just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
