we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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