She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
