I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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