Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
