even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I need a beard to bite.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
