So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
are you so shy because you have an std?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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