Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
false alarm, still single
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
