ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
