you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
