But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
