is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
