god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
this is an emotional support booty call
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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