Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
