Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
