Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
