I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
