Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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