maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
