Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
