i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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