Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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