Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
