i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
