i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
