u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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