You really coming over, don't trick.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
